still on the herbs

September 23, 2011

I’ve continued consistently with the herbs supplements and with having breakfast each morning, without an appetite.  My initial emotions this morning was of continued overwhelm, “everything is too much of an effort” but after I observed the thought, I put it aside, showered, meditated and make breakfast and allotted my herbs for the day.  I still feel overwhelmed.  Everything still feels like a chore and extra effort.  I know I have more energy in body than I give it credit so I will also be doing some physical exercise just the same to awaken that part of me.

Today I am instilling a new weekly regimen to our life her at the house.  I have hired a new cleaning/organizing person to help me get the very necessary projects completed around this house – since the existing institutionalized person has no ability to focus to detail.  My new person has the same name as I and is a little younger as well as the niece to the current person.  I am excited about getting this house truly organized and cleaned from the inside out and releasing me of some the anguish I have felt while here. I actually got the thumbs up by J for wanting to organize this place.

Our first agenda is to clean out the pantry and cupboards in kitchen, as well as our refrigerators.  Tomorrow I start a whole new diary free, gluten free diet.  I will be on this for the next 6 weeks to really see if I can truly jump-start my body back into fixing itself and healing.  I need to be and WANT to be well.  I have a lot to live for and truly an a happy person.  Most of the time but now I am full of fear and dread that if this does not happen then again I will be on one more medication that I will have to take for the rest of my life and I don’t want to be tethered to any doctors or medications.  I want complete freedom and well being.

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